My counselor recommended that I start keeping a journal. “Just write”, she said, “see what comes up” – fiction short story

The below story is fiction.  In my writing group, we were asked to write a short story capturing the words – wrath, gluttony, envy, greed, lust or sloth, we had to pick at least three of the words and for the story to have meaning.

This is my short story…  Do you know which words I used?

Image-1 (3)My counselor recommended that I start keeping a journal.  “Just write”, she said, “see what comes up”.

Okay here goes, journal open to a new blank page, pen in hand and I’m ready to go.  Nothing, 10 minutes later I’m still staring at a blank page.  This is stupid I tell myself.

Right new track, I’ll think of something to write about and see what happens.  Come on think girl there must be something you want to write about!

Got it!  I’ll write about my favourite pass time, people watching.  Yep, that’s what I love doing, watching people.  I do it because I tell myself that it’s form of mindfulness.

Ha truth is I do it so I can make judgements about people and it makes me feel better about myself.  Until I see a female with a better figure than me, prettier or nicer clothes than me.  That’s when I start to feel depressed about myself and life.

Angry boils to the surface and I think, it’s not fair that should be me.

I know what people say about me, “If she lost weight, if she took better care of herself and on it goes”.  Heard it all before!

I know I should stop binge eating and exercise more, much easier to stuff myself with chocolate and ice cream and then make myself vomit.

My counselor hates it when I say that, “your binge eating is a sign of unresolved issues”.  What a lot of crap!  Wish I didn’t have to see the dam counselor at all but the stupid judge ordered me to see her, said I have anger issues.

Honestly, I still can’t figure out why Bob called the police in the first place.  If he hadn’t gotten angry with me then I wouldn’t have throw the rock through his car window.  So it’s his fault not mine.

Stupid car, it’s his pride and joy.  I used to watch him wash and polish it every weekend as if it was some crown jewel.  He spent more time caring for that dam car then he did caring for me.  He would tell me, that I was jealous of his car.  He didn’t understand that it wasn’t really about the car but the time he spent washing it, instead of giving me all his attention.

No matter how many times I tried to explain it to him, he just didn’t get it and we would end up fighting throwing angry ugly words at each other.  That was how our relationship went until one day he walked out and never returned.

If he had just answered my phone calls, then I wouldn’t have gotten upset and thrown the rock.

Just writing about it has made me depressed…  time for some ice cream with chocolate topping.

Back… now let’s see what I have written.

I sound like a bitch.  Am I really a bitch?  Is that why Bob walked out?

Maybe the counselor was right and I do have unresolved issues.