The more you argue back, the more they’ll abuse you…


Recently I was involved in a discussion on DV against men. It was interesting to read comments from people, in particular females disputing that it happens. And, if they did agree it happens then they certainly didn’t think it was that big of an issue. 

Several comments, made me realise just how ill-informed society really is when it comes to DV. 

The below comments were in reference to communication in DV relationships and, they were from females. 

It would seem to be a problem of communication – a feeling of not being able to ‘get through’ to a partner.’

‘It’s true that trying to communicate with a person who is inherently violent is almost impossible but there is a significant group who is driven to violence through an inability to ‘get through’ to their partners.’ 

Inability to get through to their partner? Seriously, that’s why some people get violent? 

Communication is important in any relationship however when you are referring to a bully, because that’s what these people are. Then communication doesn’t apply. They believe their opinion is right and trying logic or reasoning is pointless. 

And, to say that this is why they become violent is giving them a excuse to be violent. 

  • First rule of communication. It’s the speakers responsibility to ensure they are communicating effectively and clearly, so they are understood. 
  • Second rule, if you don’t understand what’s been said, then clarify with the speaker. 

The conversation went on for some time without any real conclusion. 

It still amazes me why we need such discussions or debates. Domestic violence, abuse and bullying happens in every society. It’s not gender, colour, age or social standing based. 

Wake up people, domestic violence happens and any form of abuse against a person is a big issue. 

20 years ago society didn’t or wouldn’t recognise DV so people like me had no help or special Government benefits to fall back on. We had to get over it! It’s not that bad just suck it up! You don’t leave then it’s your fault! 

Let’s not wait another 20 years before we recognise DV against men does happen!