Sue Parker’s story of dating in the 21st century, is one that I certainly can relate too. Having been on many RSVP dates, some disastrous, some funny and some so disgusting that I was ready to accept being single for the rest of life.
But like Sue says, you must never give up. Find your inner strength, dust yourself off and get back out there. Life is beautiful, if you choose to believe it.
This is Sue’s story of never giving up and believing in yourself. Her words of encouragement reflect why she is one of Australia’s leading Personal Coaches.
It was 5 years ago to the day when I took another leap of courage. After a long hot day I ventured into the cobblestone doorway of yet another wine bar dressed to the nines in the hope that this meeting would be a successful one.
A mixture of excitement, anticipation and nervousness jumped all over me. Even though I am a bold and rather outspoken person I still felt those butterflies in my stomach having a real field day. No matter how confident we appear on the outside the inside voice of doubt can be deafening – we are all human after all.
This was not a job interview or a new client pitch but an RSVP online date. It was indeed the 20th RSVP date I had clocked up during 2011. Was I a sucker for punishment or just delusional? Neither. I just had strong intent.
In those 12 months I met several guys who I liked but the feelings weren’t mutual. Conversely many thought I was wonderful but I didn’t feel the same way. There were a couple of real ‘nasties’ in that mix and also some lovely guys who became good friends with a tad of romance thrown in. But the ‘right match’ had been elusive and I refused to just settle just because I didn’t want to be single.
Ah the myriad of emotions that one feels at being ‘rejected’ and also being ‘the rejecter’. But I just never gave up – with my mums favourite mantra embedded in my psyche – ‘where there is life there is hope’.
It was bloody hard mind you not to pack it all in and move to an isolated hut in the bush never to return. But there was this niggle inside that just wouldn’t let me me wallow for more than a week or so at a time (albeit under a Doona with a vodka or two by my side).
Now my relationship story goes far deeper than just the 12 months prior to the auspicious date on the 29th Dec which would change my life forever. On that date in 2011 there I was at 51 years old with 2 failed marriages and 3 broken engagements behind me. Yes my relationship history was rather crappy to say the least.
But I took responsibility for all of it in some way and didn’t play the ‘I’ve been done wrong’ song. Some relationships were damn nightmares and some were simply unfulfilling. But I never gave up hope that the right one was out there waiting somewhere.
But to meet that perfect person I needed to look pretty candidly at myself in the mirror and work on what needed to be changed to attract the right relationship. I had to step up and be the driver of my future. I needed to get fit, lose weight, get some therapy, enrol in self-development courses, review old beliefs, read a lot, try new ideas, throw away BS and negative people and become the sort of person that my soulmate would connect to.
I focused on being the best version of me. Not a different me but the highest version I could work to and with. I lay the foundations and I just never gave up hope in myself or indeed in other people.
How many times do we hear friends, family and colleagues play the ‘I’ve been done wrong song’ bemoaning ‘there are no good men, women, jobs, clients, careers out there’. How often do we hear ‘I’ve been there and done that and it doesn’t work’.
Such negativity doesn’t cut it with me and it shouldn’t cut it for anyone else who seeks joy and fulfilment.
I am now very happily married to my 3rd and final husband from that cobblestoned wine bar meeting. He was so worth the wait and I am blessed.
I write this to encourage others to keep going and believe in themselves. No matter how unpleasant or hopeless you feel your job, life, business or relationship situation has been, or is currently just keep trying and believing. If you are breathing keep going.
Don’t give up on finding the right job, a great manager, starting a new business, changing careers, finding your soulmate or next relationship.
Get up and have another crack BUT do it with a new outlook, different tools, insights, ideas and beliefs. Work on yourself and have some fun along the way testing and refining.
It’s hard work and you will have more ups and downs than a roller coaster. You will experience set-backs, failures, near misses etc many times in job interviews, careers, relationships, dates or your business.
And that’s OK – if you learn, develop and keep going.
Make 2017 the year where you chase like crazy whatever you seek.
DON’T give up on your career or personal dreams!
Sue is a leading expert in humanising the way Australians find jobs, hire staff and communicate. If you are seeking the next step in your career go to www.cvdynamix.com.au