How to obtain a state of congruence in your life


change ourselvesMajority of society wants less violence and more kindness and respect in the world.

Yet, what most people don’t realise is that it starts with US.  Wishing for less violence won’t suddenly make it happen, wanting others to show more kindness and respect, won’t make it happen.

Just like thinking positive thoughts and then turning around and criticising others, won’t make your life magically better and more positive.

In order to make positive changes in the world and our own lives, everything must be in harmony and balance.  In other words, we must be congruent with our mind and spoken words.

Congruent definition – “in agreement or harmony” “the rules may not be congruent with the requirements of the law”

For mankind to bring balance and harmony back into the world, we must start with ourselves.  We need to be in a state of congruence with our own lives.

According to Carl Rogers, Humanistic Psychologist (1902-1987) –

A person’s ideal self may not be consistent with what actually happens in life and experiences of the person.  Hence, a difference may exist between a person’s ideal self and actual experience.  This is called incongruence.

The only true way to obtain a state of congruence in your life is by being self-aware and understanding who you are at your core.  Knowing what motivates you, understanding why something triggers a negative reaction or why you resist change whether it is positive or negative.

Being congruent with who you are, what you think, feel and say are in harmony with each other.  So thinking positive thoughts, then criticising others, you are incongruent with yourself.

What is your true self?  Maybe you are just a critical person, if so, accept this about yourself.  If you don’t like it, then you can change it by being self-aware of your actions and words, making sure they are congruent.

You want to portray to the world that you are confident and self-assured, yet inside you are full of doubt and insecurity.  Then you need to feel confident, really get in touch with what it feels like, not just say, ‘I am a confident person’ and magically overnight you are.  You need to experience it, to understand what it feels like.  You can achieve this by being self-aware and practicing mindfulness.

With self-awareness comes inner-peace as you are no longer in conflict with your heart and mind.  You feel confident and self-assured so your actions, behaviour and words are consistent with yourself, which is reflected in your self-image.

The world will experience a shift in energy and start balancing itself out, when society becomes self-aware of who they really are.

We want to change the world; then we need to change ourselves first, for the world is a reflection of mankind’s thoughts and actions.